Dumpster Diving...

Published by Demo Kitchen under on Friday, February 25, 2011
I have found I have a lot of time to think during the times I wake up to feed Jorie in the night...at least during the times I don't zonk out too quickly. The other night, the thought occurred to me that one of the meals that was brought to us after we had the baby (a chicken pot pie), was in a tin pie plate, a real, non-disposable pie plate...and I...uh, disposed of it. When the sweet woman in our ward brought it, she had already frozen it and gave it to us to use later. Which is totally the way to go, because so many meals were brought as soon as the baby was born, I was glad to not have to cook in the future when the leftovers were gone. So, we cooked it recently and I remember thinking, "Oh that's nice that she brought it in a disposable tin pan so neither she nor I have to worry about getting the plate back to her". So why did I turn frantic in the middle of the night thinking the pan was actually a real pan? you ask. Well, I realized that I never truly inspected the pan after the food was out of it to make sure it was actually disposable. We finished and I threw it away without a second thought. So, here it was, the middle of the night, and I was making myself sick thinking about having thrown away someone else's cookware. I thought, ok, worst case scenario, the pan is still at least in the garbage outside and I can get it out. And if it is still no good I will buy her a new pie pan...ooh a glass one, and I will ask Amanda to help me etch her name in the bottom, and then she'll be able to use it again to be the compassionate woman she is and give other people food and those people will know that it is hers and they will give it back and no one has to worry ever again!!! (the thoughts were moving at increasingly fast speeds and getting more and more exciting and turned into very long run-on sentences, just like the way I typed it ;)
Even so, I put the baby back to bed and went into the kitchen to...rummage a bit through the garbage, just hoping it wasn't already in the outside trash can. No luck. Krikey. OK. In the morning I will get the pan out of the dumpster.

So, morning came and I waited until most of the neighbors were off to work and the school buses weren't driving by until I pulled the first bag out of the garbage. There were only 2 bags in there, so 50% chance it was in the more recent bag. I brought the foul thing inside my kitchen and while wearing rubber gloves, started moving stuff from the nasty bag to a new bag, thinking to myself, "Holy crap (literally) we are going through TONS of diapers!" and "Who the heck has been snacking on all these bananas! Oh yeah, banana splits, every night, for about 4 nights. I guess I contributed to these nasty peels." Then finally reached the bottom....and....no pan. I didn't realize it had been so many days since we finished that meal! So, time to switch bags. I went back out to the garbage with the first bag, and looked in. If I had so much as GLANCED at the other bag while grabbing the first, I would have seen that the pan was right at the top of the tied bag, practically screaming at me. So I pulled bag #2 out of the garbage, pulled the pan out of the bag, and do I really need to say it? It was disposable.


Moral of the story: When you are awake in the middle of the night and have been awake 3-4 times a night for a month, completely disregard every thought that flows through your cloudy little brain. This should help you avoid finding yourself elbow deep in wet diapers and banana peels.

6 comments:

VicandNanc said... @ February 25, 2011 at 4:42 PM

Ha! I'm glad I'm not the only one with crazy thoughts in the middle of the night! :) Our garbage smells so aweful with all of those diapers that I think I'd have just called the lady first cuz it is just too scarry in there! We LOVE your baby valentine. It is so sweet & perfect!

The Pingel Family said... @ February 25, 2011 at 8:02 PM

What a funny story. I love how you told it. If it were me, I probably would have said "So I got dinner from a friend and realized after we ate it that it might not have been a disposable plate. So I went through the garbage and it was disposable after all." Your way was much more fun and creative!

Carlin said... @ February 26, 2011 at 1:44 PM

Oh my gosh Jesse! You are stinkin' hilarious!I'm laughing my head off here! You need to write a column or something

Camille said... @ February 26, 2011 at 2:37 PM

I thought I saw you out there digging in the garbage! No, I'm just kidding but that is pretty dang funny!

Josh said... @ February 27, 2011 at 3:48 PM

That is one of the funniest stories ever! I can definitely relate! Your family is so cute! I hope all is going great!!!

Bryan & Jen said... @ March 1, 2011 at 2:09 AM

Bah ha . . . totally something I would do! I love it! And I love your mad skill in the story telling department. You make it vivid and hilarious. Ah . . . I miss you!!

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